On plants and gifts

Shortly after my daughter was born my mother presented me with a plant from my Nan. Or, rather, a basket with a variety of plants in it adorned with a pink bow. I have always been fairly straight talking with my mother and so expected it to come as no surprise when surveying this item I said “oh dear”. Of all the gifts that can be given plants are to my mind the cruellest. Cut flowers do not require substantial care; a potted plant, however, is a life time commitment of watering and reporting. If it is a plant that doesn’t particularly appeal to you this is an unbearable burden – in honesty even with plants I do find appealing the idea of committing to regular watering is beyond me.

Please note that this collection of plants was given just after the birth of my daughter, with the associated demands that this brings. If it was me rather the long suffering wife breast feeding I feel certain that I would forget to feed her, and I am rather fond of her.

My mother, instead of encouraging me to enter into a tirade explaining the finer points of my disapproval of the well meant gift, looked a bit crest fallen and told me she had chosen it. I felt this was an appropriate moment for back tracking and suggested that the plants were indeed very nice and that maybe it was the nasty pink bow that was putting me off. My mother explained that she had placed the bow on them.

Seven weeks on we have not completely emptied the flat yet – tonight is the final trip – and among the things that had not made it over yet was the aforementioned plant. This was not a deliberate attempt to kill it, but rather a result of the difficulties of transporting plants – and not liking it.

It was then with some surprise that I arrived home yesterday to discover the plant sitting on the windowsill in a bowl of water. I was shocked. Had I offended my wife in some way so serious that she would seek out this plant to punish me? No. My mother had helpfully gone to the flat and retrieved it.

I wonder what effect watering it with bleach will have?

On the subject of gifts, people did give us, or rather, Grace gifts at the dedication which was now over two weeks ago. As yet I have not sent thank you cards. I get home from work at 7pm at night and I then try to eat, sort out the flat, study.. thank you cards have become a little buried in this list. Yet I know people took time to choose them, and we are very grateful for them..but finding the time to say thank you.. I am attempting to block out an evening next week for it, but right now its not looking good.


Yours as ever

the broken man

Babies - they're expensive?

People have told me that having a baby is a very expensive thing indeed – that the costs soon pile up. So, I thought it would be worthwhile looking at the costs that I anticipate facing:

Baby Sling - £25

Baby clothes – Hand me downs

Pushchair – don’t need one but have been given one

Baby seat for car – My mother is buying one

Baby bath – not sure I need one – surely I will just take the baby in the bath with me? However, someone has given me one.

Cot – Don’t need one as co-sleeping but a friend has offered us a Moses basket.

Nappies – okay, these are going to cost – and we could even go down the whole changing mat route, going for eco friendly nappies.

Food – My long suffering wife will serve as a drink dispenser.

That’s it…I really can’t think of anything else I need...Am I missing something? Is there a huge shopping list of baby related products that I should be panicking about getting before baby arrives?

A note on breast feeding here – IT’S INCREDIBLE! I mean, wow, that stuff is clever! I know you will already know this stuff, but it came as news to me. Apparently when a mum kisses her baby she picks up their germs, her body then creates the antibodies to deal with them, and dispenses these anti-bodies when she breast feeds! Breast milk is designer baby medicine.
Some comment needs to be made here about breasts, however. Currently the people who see my wife’s breasts are my wife, and me. That’s it. The idea of my wife getting her breasts out in public does trouble me rather. Don’t get me wrong here, I know, breastfeeding is natural, it’s great, I’m all for it, it’s wonderful. But, and here is the big but, that for me is on the stipulation that other people are not looking at her breasts.

Women out there may now be saying to themselves, “people don’t look when you are breast feeding, you can be discrete” etc. Believe me – people are looking. Me. I am sorry, I know it’s natural and all the rest of it, but generally speaking, my experience of breasts has been objects of sexual desire. However grown up I want to be about it, I can’t help thinking to myself: “BOOBS”. This is particularly difficult if, while talking to someone, they start breastfeeding - so I know, I know people are looking. And I don’t want them to. But I do want my wife to breastfeed, I believe in it. Just be warned. If I catch you staring in anything but a medically curious or the “wonders of nature” kind of way, we will be having words!