It seems that Grace has yet to learn how to vomit on demand. While this is a skill which most of us take in our stride, it seems that at 3 ½ weeks old there are occasions when Grace knows she wishes to be sick, but seems a little uncertain of how to go about it.
Instead of sitting down and drawing up a number of possible ways of carrying out this operation she tends to opt for screaming while sticking her tongue out intermitantly. As she screws up her eyes while doing so they look rather puffy and inclined to explode. It is not an attractive look, and as such my vocal daughter tries to avoid this model of behaviour when in company.
For visitors she sleeps, or stares wide eyed and bemused at some unidentifiable point in the room. When accompanied by the occasional smile visitors assure us that Grace is indeed very good, very lovely etc etc. They cuddle her and tell us how relaxing they find her. However, a certain time comes in the evening when the visitors have left and the vocal daughter feels she is able to drop the act.
If you can't be yourself with your family, who can you be straight with? As such she has developed a workable routine. First she pees and screams for a change. We change her. She then pees again. We affix nappy two. She then poos. We affix nappy three. She then requests food (failing to use “please”). After a short feed she indicates that she is bored and sleeps for three mins. This my wife mistakenly takes as an indication that she can stand up. Clearly this results in requests for more feeding.
Having finished feeding its time for the loo again. Discovering that this has not made her feel more comftable the vocal daughter informs us she has wind, this she does cunningly with a slightly different pitched scream while trying to knee herself repeatedly in the stomach.
10 mins or so of winding follows. Normally with nappy change. At this point the vocal daughter has a difficult choice..is it time to feed…or time to vomit? Sometimes unsure which to go for she will attempt a feed and give up to return to crying while sticking out her tongue. A state which she feels able to maintain for some considerable time before returning to the start of the procedure.
Yesterday I came in from a meeting to find the long suffering wife sitting on the sofa having been able to do little other than hold our vocal daughter as she expressed her discomfort. As the long suffering wife was unable to find a method for relieving the distress of Grace, she opted for holding her, while rocking slightly and crying herself, on the principle that, if you can't beat them, join them.
Fortunately for me the vocal daughter decided that she would indeed now vomit (just after I picked her up), and as such would return to a temporary state of calm. An extra pair of hands providing the exciting opportunity for the long suffering wife of having some extended leisure time (10 mins in the shower followed by a cup of tea).
I have of course explained at length to the vocal daughter that having informed me of her discomfort due to winding, cuddling, feeding or nappy changing, she does not need to continue to inform me of it. One short screech for each requirement is sufficient, after which a pause of at least five mins in which the need she has identified is addressed, would to my mind prove to be a far better system.
Despite careful explanations, and even on occasion’s diagrams and a pie chart, the vocal daughter has yet to grasp the finer points of my proposal. I suspect that I need to provide a flow chart for her to ensure that she fully gets to grips with my proposal.
Yours as ever
The Broken Man
Showing posts with label nappies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nappies. Show all posts
Monday, 12 January 2009
Monday, 5 January 2009
Back to Work
Back to work today and back to some kind of routine, at least for me.
So two weeks on, and what lessons have we learnt?
We have learnt that babies should not drink bath water. That thrashing around in the bath is not a baby's way of saying it is having fun but rather an indication that it is choking and would like to have a bit of a back rub and to spit up the bath water it has drunk.
I have also learnt that Grace is the third most popular baby name in 2008 (In England). This has, of course, left me feeling a little depressed that it’s the name we settled on - I have only ever known one person called Grace and so thought it was a safe bet.
Before the birth of my daughter, people informed me in a knowing way that you can't understand how it will change your life until you have a baby. That it will change the way you see everything and think about everything. That may happen. It may just be a delayed reaction on my part, but parenthood is as I anticipated. We do all the same things, go to the same places, we just have a baby with us when we do so. Admittedly, Grace seems to make herself the centre of attention, and serves as an invitation to strangers to say "hello" – for some reason particually in supermarkets.
While I am not a great fan of people, I have found myself prepared to listen to people telling me how beautiful she is, and I do feel rather splendid wandering around with her in a sling. I am always a little confused when people say “well done” on seeing her. Having a baby doesn’t seem like an achievement I can claim any great credit for. If she turns out to be a wonderful young lady, then I will be able to claim some credit in having brought her up well, but having merely succeded in fathering her, I feel no particualar claim to credit. People seem obsessed with telling me that she either looks like me or her mother, although I suspect that mostly, she looks like a baby.
There also seems to be a bit of a gender obsession. We do not dress her in great swathes of pink and bows. Instead she wears baby grows – mostly those from her aunt and an American friend as they are of a far higher quality than those we have got as hand-me-downs. As such, looking at her with a baby grow on, it is impossible to distinguish her gender. Yet people who refer to her as a "he" seem terribly embarssed when they ask her name and we reveal that she is indeed a she not a he. It does not create any offence on our part at all. If it bothered us we would dress her in pink as that seems to be the cue that makes the gender link for people.
As time goes on we may discover that Grace is a girly girl who likes nothing better than party frocks. Or she might prefer jeans. The choice is hers, and I have no particular desire to impose it on her from such an early age. Such outfits have far to many buttons for my liking anyway. Baby grows are a far easier option.
Ahhh.. I have just thought of one thing that came as a surprise..the number of nappies she gets through. Her record is currently at 16 in one day. We are using reusable washable nappies – which, also to our surprise, take 2-3 days to dry. This is creating a bit of a battle in trying to have enough nappies to get through each day..I did momentarily flirt with a disposable nappy when she ran out – it was a free sample – I put it on her...and, well, it was plastic and nasty in every way, and I couldn’t bring myself to leave her in it, and so it was out with the safety pins and a bit of cloth for an old style nappy as opposed to the Velcro pre shapped reusables.
Well that’s it for now.
Yours as ever,
The Broken Man
So two weeks on, and what lessons have we learnt?
We have learnt that babies should not drink bath water. That thrashing around in the bath is not a baby's way of saying it is having fun but rather an indication that it is choking and would like to have a bit of a back rub and to spit up the bath water it has drunk.
I have also learnt that Grace is the third most popular baby name in 2008 (In England). This has, of course, left me feeling a little depressed that it’s the name we settled on - I have only ever known one person called Grace and so thought it was a safe bet.
Before the birth of my daughter, people informed me in a knowing way that you can't understand how it will change your life until you have a baby. That it will change the way you see everything and think about everything. That may happen. It may just be a delayed reaction on my part, but parenthood is as I anticipated. We do all the same things, go to the same places, we just have a baby with us when we do so. Admittedly, Grace seems to make herself the centre of attention, and serves as an invitation to strangers to say "hello" – for some reason particually in supermarkets.
While I am not a great fan of people, I have found myself prepared to listen to people telling me how beautiful she is, and I do feel rather splendid wandering around with her in a sling. I am always a little confused when people say “well done” on seeing her. Having a baby doesn’t seem like an achievement I can claim any great credit for. If she turns out to be a wonderful young lady, then I will be able to claim some credit in having brought her up well, but having merely succeded in fathering her, I feel no particualar claim to credit. People seem obsessed with telling me that she either looks like me or her mother, although I suspect that mostly, she looks like a baby.
There also seems to be a bit of a gender obsession. We do not dress her in great swathes of pink and bows. Instead she wears baby grows – mostly those from her aunt and an American friend as they are of a far higher quality than those we have got as hand-me-downs. As such, looking at her with a baby grow on, it is impossible to distinguish her gender. Yet people who refer to her as a "he" seem terribly embarssed when they ask her name and we reveal that she is indeed a she not a he. It does not create any offence on our part at all. If it bothered us we would dress her in pink as that seems to be the cue that makes the gender link for people.
As time goes on we may discover that Grace is a girly girl who likes nothing better than party frocks. Or she might prefer jeans. The choice is hers, and I have no particular desire to impose it on her from such an early age. Such outfits have far to many buttons for my liking anyway. Baby grows are a far easier option.
Ahhh.. I have just thought of one thing that came as a surprise..the number of nappies she gets through. Her record is currently at 16 in one day. We are using reusable washable nappies – which, also to our surprise, take 2-3 days to dry. This is creating a bit of a battle in trying to have enough nappies to get through each day..I did momentarily flirt with a disposable nappy when she ran out – it was a free sample – I put it on her...and, well, it was plastic and nasty in every way, and I couldn’t bring myself to leave her in it, and so it was out with the safety pins and a bit of cloth for an old style nappy as opposed to the Velcro pre shapped reusables.
Well that’s it for now.
Yours as ever,
The Broken Man
Wednesday, 27 August 2008
Nappies, awards, comments and pain
NAPPIES
The hunt for a nappy system for a newborn is at last over …I am told by the long suffering wife that “we” have selected nappies for a newborn. "Fantastic", I thought, the power of delegation has worked wonders.
Dear friends…may I ask you…honestly now….is it just me or is the idea of a rainbow or polka-dot nappy rather disturbing? I realise I am a grumpy old man; that I am one built for complaining…but really…be fair…to see the full horror have a look at the web site: http://www.babykind.co.uk/wrapsredrap.htm
AWARDS
In other news...the very lovely Gill at http://mehimthem.blogspot.com has given me an Oscar! I am very touched, but deeply unsure of these award things. Don’t get me wrong, I love being given awards….they are fab. Being given a “kick arse” award was particuarly satisfying, but this whole "pass this onto 5 people, name the person who gave it to you" thing, makes me think that surely any award will eventually go to everyone on the net, it feels a little like a chain letter to me. It seems very rude to accept an award and not follow the instructions on it, but to refuse an award, well, that’s even ruder… So for the record…..."thank you, thank you, I would like to thank my wife, my agent, my publistist, everyone who made this possible, it’s a surprise, its wonderful to recive this recognition…but as I am camera shy, I must regretfully decline the opportunity to collect this award in person.
COMMENTS
Thank you everyone for your comments of late, and sorry I have been so bad at replying to them, I really will get on it! Sometimes I read a question I am asked and think... "oh come on, I have answered that, it's in the About Me section…READ IT." Uncharitable, I know. Sometimes I think, "I don’t want to talk about that right now…I did when I wrote about it (eg syndrome thingy) but right now I would just prefer not to." Other times I want to respond but don’t have time – I receive the email update telling me I have had a message, and telling me what someone has said on my work pc, but can not access the site till I get home to reply..other times I forget. Sure, sometimes I am just lazy and uncaring…but not always – and your comment – that one made me laugh, and touched me, and meant a lot to me. I do love recieving your comments, it flatters my ego, so please don’t stop – but don’t worry to much if I appear to be ignoring it..
That was a far longer explanation than I intended. To other things…
PAIN IN THE NECK
My back is not better. My neck hurts, as does my coccyx. I just rubbed my hand over my neck and heard a cracking sound. When I move my right arm it's like someone is setting fire crackers. On a positive note, I have had an update and it should be 5 weeks or so before I get to see a physio. I know I have gone on about this before but it makes me feel physically sick to just think about it, and I feel such a sense of blind panic that something is seriously wrong.
Sorry just needed to sit in the corner sobbing for a while, and there is no point in being in pain unless everyone else knows about it.
Yours as ever
The Broken Man
The hunt for a nappy system for a newborn is at last over …I am told by the long suffering wife that “we” have selected nappies for a newborn. "Fantastic", I thought, the power of delegation has worked wonders.
Dear friends…may I ask you…honestly now….is it just me or is the idea of a rainbow or polka-dot nappy rather disturbing? I realise I am a grumpy old man; that I am one built for complaining…but really…be fair…to see the full horror have a look at the web site: http://www.babykind.co.uk/wrapsredrap.htm
AWARDS
In other news...the very lovely Gill at http://mehimthem.blogspot.com has given me an Oscar! I am very touched, but deeply unsure of these award things. Don’t get me wrong, I love being given awards….they are fab. Being given a “kick arse” award was particuarly satisfying, but this whole "pass this onto 5 people, name the person who gave it to you" thing, makes me think that surely any award will eventually go to everyone on the net, it feels a little like a chain letter to me. It seems very rude to accept an award and not follow the instructions on it, but to refuse an award, well, that’s even ruder… So for the record…..."thank you, thank you, I would like to thank my wife, my agent, my publistist, everyone who made this possible, it’s a surprise, its wonderful to recive this recognition…but as I am camera shy, I must regretfully decline the opportunity to collect this award in person.
COMMENTS
Thank you everyone for your comments of late, and sorry I have been so bad at replying to them, I really will get on it! Sometimes I read a question I am asked and think... "oh come on, I have answered that, it's in the About Me section…READ IT." Uncharitable, I know. Sometimes I think, "I don’t want to talk about that right now…I did when I wrote about it (eg syndrome thingy) but right now I would just prefer not to." Other times I want to respond but don’t have time – I receive the email update telling me I have had a message, and telling me what someone has said on my work pc, but can not access the site till I get home to reply..other times I forget. Sure, sometimes I am just lazy and uncaring…but not always – and your comment – that one made me laugh, and touched me, and meant a lot to me. I do love recieving your comments, it flatters my ego, so please don’t stop – but don’t worry to much if I appear to be ignoring it..
That was a far longer explanation than I intended. To other things…
PAIN IN THE NECK
My back is not better. My neck hurts, as does my coccyx. I just rubbed my hand over my neck and heard a cracking sound. When I move my right arm it's like someone is setting fire crackers. On a positive note, I have had an update and it should be 5 weeks or so before I get to see a physio. I know I have gone on about this before but it makes me feel physically sick to just think about it, and I feel such a sense of blind panic that something is seriously wrong.
Sorry just needed to sit in the corner sobbing for a while, and there is no point in being in pain unless everyone else knows about it.
Yours as ever
The Broken Man
Monday, 11 August 2008
Oh Baby......
I have read lots of blogs which have talked about children going through those normal toddler phases – you know, temper tantrums, terrible 2’s, that kind of thing....
Dear reader, I have decided my baby will behave. That we will have a little chat, and will sort out all that kind of trouble. The baby will sleep through the night, and will hardly ever cry. The baby will become a polite toddler. The nappies won’t leak...I have decided. So, that really is the matter closed.
Of course my long suffering wife thinks it will not be so easy... but then, she also thinks that I will become so frustrated with the schooling system that within 6 months I will give up and home educate. Tsk! Shows how little she knows!
In other news...the carpet is being fitted today! YAY!!
And for those wondering the outcome of “confessions and lies”; I am sending the email today...I will keep you posted.
Yours as ever
The Broken Man
Dear reader, I have decided my baby will behave. That we will have a little chat, and will sort out all that kind of trouble. The baby will sleep through the night, and will hardly ever cry. The baby will become a polite toddler. The nappies won’t leak...I have decided. So, that really is the matter closed.
Of course my long suffering wife thinks it will not be so easy... but then, she also thinks that I will become so frustrated with the schooling system that within 6 months I will give up and home educate. Tsk! Shows how little she knows!
In other news...the carpet is being fitted today! YAY!!
And for those wondering the outcome of “confessions and lies”; I am sending the email today...I will keep you posted.
Yours as ever
The Broken Man
Monday, 28 July 2008
Poo
Having posted my smug "babies don’t cost much" post, I have started to look at the price of nappies. WOW, that hurts! To make things fun and with a nod to the landfill site issue, we thought it would be good to go down the reusable road so I thought I would have a quick google see which is best and get some. Not really so easy though is it? Do you want a nappy made out of bamboo, or out of goose feathers; do you want it attached to the baby with zips, velcro, poppers, a nail gun, string..and the cost of them – let me just mention that again – this is not a choice you can afford to get wrong.
I am one for experimenting; I will happily try different types of most things, but excuse me if I don’t feel to excited about picking a type that is poorly-fitting and results in me and my furniture getting covered in baby poo. It's also all very well saying "oh, we will try samples from different places", but that can mean lots of costs to different places. After the baby is actually born I will need to have a nappy there and then. If possible, I would like to have worked out how to operate it, so that, when it comes to putting nappies on the baby, instead of looking confused, bemused and generally incompetent I will have the appearance of a skilled competent (and rather dashing) father who makes mothers of other babies catch their breath as they wish that their husbands / life partners / significant others were such a master nappy putter-onners themselves.
What I don’t want is to be looking confused, befudled and slightly dumbfounded as I try and work out which way up the baby goes and how to get baby poo of my white shirt.
HELP! Please note – I do not want to be told that lots of good brands are out there etc, I want solid advice on “this is the best one, get it and your life will be better”! I can then get hold of some before baby is born and practice putting them on to a soft toy whilst wearing a blind fold.
Yours as ever
The Broken Man.
I am one for experimenting; I will happily try different types of most things, but excuse me if I don’t feel to excited about picking a type that is poorly-fitting and results in me and my furniture getting covered in baby poo. It's also all very well saying "oh, we will try samples from different places", but that can mean lots of costs to different places. After the baby is actually born I will need to have a nappy there and then. If possible, I would like to have worked out how to operate it, so that, when it comes to putting nappies on the baby, instead of looking confused, bemused and generally incompetent I will have the appearance of a skilled competent (and rather dashing) father who makes mothers of other babies catch their breath as they wish that their husbands / life partners / significant others were such a master nappy putter-onners themselves.
What I don’t want is to be looking confused, befudled and slightly dumbfounded as I try and work out which way up the baby goes and how to get baby poo of my white shirt.
HELP! Please note – I do not want to be told that lots of good brands are out there etc, I want solid advice on “this is the best one, get it and your life will be better”! I can then get hold of some before baby is born and practice putting them on to a soft toy whilst wearing a blind fold.
Yours as ever
The Broken Man.
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