My wife has no desire to know the gender of our baby before it's born; she views it as a reward that will help her through the end of labour, a surprise we should wait for. I, however, am a man, and a man who struggles extraordinarily to get my desire for instant gratification in check. I still don’t go to bed on the night before my birthday till gone midnight, in the hope that I will be able to convince my long-suffering wife that as it is *technically* my birthday I should be allowed to open a present.
I have never been good at waiting, but I do like surprises. If I tear open all my presents before I go to sleep, in the morning I will wake up disappointed that I have already had the excitement. My wife has agreed, that if I am confident that I can not let it slip, she doesn’t mind me knowing the gender of the baby first. The difficulty with this is that of course I would let it slip, I wouldn’t be able to help it. I have a pathological desire to tell the world everything; as is evidenced by this blog, I don’t do secrets. How I will cope as a priest if ever anyone wants to confess to me something truly juicy I have no idea. Don’t get me wrong, I will manage it, but we all know the whole point of knowing something is telling people.. Sorry I got carried away there for a minute…yes baby gender…
People ask from time to time, do you want a boy or girl? Now don’t get me wrong, I know the right answer. Everyone knows the right answer. “as long as its healthy…” You see the problem is, I am not worried about the baby's health. If we have a baby with serious medical problems, I can cope with that (this may come back to haunt me) but when I look at baby clothes, and children’s clothes I am always drawn to dresses and the like. I WANT A GIRL. Okay I have said it. I know that in the world of pregnancy this statement is a cardinal sin, I know you hate me…that’s okay, I can live with that, but, come on, girls are just cuter! I will be fine if we have a boy, it will be great, but part of my desire to know the gender now, is so that if it’s a boy my first thought won't be "..oh that’s a shame". Now sure my first thought will probably be "wow it’s a baby. Bet that stung…oh yes that’s going to smart in the morning" (apparently these are not the comforting comments one is allowed to make to a wife in labour).
Faced with this dilemma, I have decided to do the sensible thing, I am trusting that some fatherly parenting gene will kick in with the baby's first cry and I won't care what the baby's gender is when its born, so I have agreed with the wife..we will wait and see. So, come on dads-to-be, and dads already, be honest…did you/do you have preference, and did it matter when baby was born?
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5 comments:
I ran into your blog by way of "BECAUSE I SAID SO". The title caught my eye. In light of your wondering of the gender. I have two boys of my own but before they were here I LONGED for a little girl. When my first baby was placed into my arms, my mind was numb with joy. Trust me, it won't matter. Good Luck with it all, enjoy the journey.
Saw your post on Van Walton's blog and was also intrigued. You write with such a unique voice. I have two little boys, the time of waiting is so precious. My husband reacted much more differently than I...getting finances in order, planning college funds, etc. I read, started journals, and had intimate conversations with my littles. Enjoy this time together.
blessings,
Laura
Another thing about baby girls - they don't shoot you in the eye when you change their diapers. :-)
I can't speak as a Dad, but as a mother I loved having my girls. three of them, but when our son came along it was a new experience.
Those girls and boy are now grown adults with kids of their own and each of them carries something so special to my life....boy, girls, they are all so special.
Thanks for your comment on my blog! Obviously I can't comment from the perspective of a dad, but I prefer to know the gender ahead of time...I figure, pregnancy is full of enough surprises, I sure don't want one more.
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