I am sorry to have to tell you this, dear readers. It will shock you to hear it. My wife is lazy. There, i have said it, its out in the open. She seems to be insisting on taking the *whole* gestation period of an average women before giving birth. I mean, seriously folks, do i look like someone with a long attention span?
Apparently it is not appropriate for me to attempt to "unwrap" my new baby early. I feel like my life is in a very strange kind of Christmas Eve twilight zone in which I get myself briefly over excited at the thought of presents and then feel worn out and drift off to sleep, waking to discover not that Christmas Day has arrived but that I have succeded in sleeping for a full two minutes.
In other baby news, we had a vistiation from the Head of Midwifery the other day to discuss our "particular issues". Despite fears that we were going to have to do battle with a dragon over a whole range of issues (e.g. in an emergency, if wife had to be sliced, i would not leave her alone in the hospital as she would then panic - hence if hospital insisted that i could not stay outside visiting hours we would discharge her) they were brillant! They accepted each and every one of our issues, and even gave us the top lady's mobile number in case we encountered any problems and needed her to tell people that she has agreed to meet our requirments. Hopefully of course it won't come to that. I am, at any rate, planning a pain free birth (for me, if not the long suffering wife) at home, where i can surf the net and read books in comfort whilst throwing in the odd soothing comment such as "there, there dear" and "ohhh that's got to smart".
In other news I did a web search today to see if I could find some more information on the problem of evil - the topic result for my search criteria was indeed an interesting starting point to any approach to the topic - unfortunatly however it didn't move my thinking on substantially as it was my own blog post!!
yours as ever,
Bored and Broke,
the Broken Man
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4 comments:
Babys will only come when THEY are ready, not when everyone else is!!
Glad to hear that the midwife agreed with all your fears/emergencies. Hope all else is well.
Just remember the two things that no husband must ever EVER say to a woman in labour: Breathe / Push.
Stick to only questions that have a yes or no answer once she starts to look serious about things.
And QUIT MOANING! :P You only have to wake up disapointed. She has to wake up uncomfortable too. ;)
(PS - Clary Sage oil in burners, Jasmine oil in the bath to get labour moving faster/sooner.)
Hey, I'm not disappointed at all! :) The baby's not cooked yet - I don't want it to come out so soon!
Broken Man's Wife
A better woman than I, who am impatient already (though not in a rush for a preemie either lol). :)
Glad to hear all is OK! And make sure Mr Broken Man reads my birth partner advice lol you'll thank me later. ;)
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