I don’t feel too bad posting twice in a day (although I tend to avoid it) as I have been bad at posting lately.
I am going for an assessment for Dyslexia/Dyspraxia tomorrow. And I am scared. I have always considered myself clever. Okay, I know that makes me arrogant, but I have generally considered myself as having a brain the size of a planet. Don’t worry – I don’t like me either – I think it’s a terrible way to see myself.
The point is that I have had a counter balance. Dyspraxia. I have argued that while I might be clever, I also have some issues outside my control. I have ways of coping with them, for sure, but my lack of achievement is because I have "issues". I talk too loud, not because I am rude, but because I have problems modulating my voice. I walk away when bored, not because I am insensitive, but because sometimes things are so dull they actually hurt my head.
So I am being tested. Poked. Prodded. They will tell me if they can find a label to fit. They will put my IQ on a graph. At the end of it all they will make their assessment. I am not sure which worries me most. Being told that I haven't got a problem or that I have. My wife has done a long list of all the things that are wrong with me. It’s a rare opportunity for any long suffering wife. I look at it and think – but I am just me. Yes, I break a few glasses, and sure, I can't remember names...and well, okay, I get lost in the bathroom but...
Wanting to curl up into a ball
Yours as ever
The very broken man
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7 comments:
"I walk away when bored"
I do too: there are always more interesting people around somewhere!
BTW: We know all about Dyspraxia in our family.
This could really be a positive thing. Sometimes, putting name to your struggles makes them less scary. Wishing you all the best.
I would rather find out if it were me. If you are'labeled' with something you will learn to deal with it. They might give you solutions to cope with it. Heres hoping all turns out well:) I'm also sure that making that list was difficult for the long suffering wife, due to even when we love someone completely it is hard to mention ALL your faults...
Keep your chin up. God made you the was He planned. And while he has a sense of humor, it is never with ill will, or wrong. Our son has High Functioning Autism; we knew he was "different" than the other children his age very early on. We didn't want to "fix" him, but we wanted to KNOW. So we hunted high and low, got a doctorate on Google, and filled in more of those stupid bubble tests than any parent should ever have to; squeezing your babies into a box of things wrong with them is heartbeakingly difficult. But. At the end of it we had a diagnosis. That's really all we were searching for; we've never looked for a Cure. God made him perfect in His sight; who are we to argue? We give our son the tools he needs to be the best him he can be. Not changed, not cured, just the best him. Be proud of who you are. God is. Blessings, Whitney
Well kudos to you for going! Many wouldn't so pat on the back to you!! (non patronising of course!) Hope it all goes well for you. Just go with the flow and see what happens ;)
Good luck.
The thing about diagnoses is, sometimes they help more than they hurt. And sometimes it's the other way. Also, sometimes they are correct, sometimes not. It' nearly always better to have information about what may help than not, so good for you for being tested. And if they tell you something is wrong with you and you disagree, well, that may be one of the wrong diagnoses.
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