I have read lots of blogs which have talked about children going through those normal toddler phases – you know, temper tantrums, terrible 2’s, that kind of thing....
Dear reader, I have decided my baby will behave. That we will have a little chat, and will sort out all that kind of trouble. The baby will sleep through the night, and will hardly ever cry. The baby will become a polite toddler. The nappies won’t leak...I have decided. So, that really is the matter closed.
Of course my long suffering wife thinks it will not be so easy... but then, she also thinks that I will become so frustrated with the schooling system that within 6 months I will give up and home educate. Tsk! Shows how little she knows!
In other news...the carpet is being fitted today! YAY!!
And for those wondering the outcome of “confessions and lies”; I am sending the email today...I will keep you posted.
Yours as ever
The Broken Man
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25 comments:
Just out of interest..have you ever considered that one day said baby might read this?
Lucky you..new carpet.
Prayers and best wishes for the outcome of that email. And hearty laughs at the forstalling of difficulty by your "little chat" with Bump. ;)
I don’t think I have said anything that I wouldn't want baby to read...Is there anything that people think I shouldn’t have said?
The Broken Man
Good luck! I tried talking like that to my kids. Didn't work.
If you succeed with this quest, you could make a fortune selling your secret to the rest of us frazzled parents! :)
lmao - good luck with that - if you succeed with your "little chat" I will truly be in awe of you. :)
Gentle Broken Man. I away with eager anticipation the results of your second paragraph. If it works, you can write a book and be a millionaire!
Ha! You are funny! Don't worry about your kiddo reading your blog. I say stuff like that to my kids all the time and they humor me with a smile.
I don't know you, I just started reading your blog, and I am proud that you are sending that email today. God already knows the outcome! And already He is achieving His primary purpose--to sanctify you and make you more like Christ.
Good Luck with the outcome of your email - i'm rooting for you.
As for your offspring I love your theories but...erm.. he or she is actually thinking " I'm gonna sleep ALL day, cos' i can, I'm gonna keep Mum and Dad awake all night cos' it suits me. My nappies may not leak but just occasionally i WILL test them out! And if my parents aren't quite taking my hints i WILL cry..LOUD and SHRILL just enough to set their teeth on edge."
You see while you are chatting to parents and reading all the books...your baby is writing his or her own book...and boy will it be different from anything you've learned!!!
lol! This is too funny! If only it were that easy...! I don't think you've said anything at all that you wouldn't want the baby to read one day! I think he/she will find it funny, just like the rest of us!
GOOD LUCK, hope "baby" will be very understanding of frustrated father!
I would take a day full of two year old temper tantrums in trade for one hour of a full blown Martha 16 yr old FIT... toddlers have nothing on a TEEN!
Giggles and grins
Laura
No I don't think you've sauid anything you shouldn't. I just wondered if you'd considered it thats all. Thank you for your comments. I still don't know how you found me..especially my 'pretend' blog where i try out things.
To turn off word verification go to the 'settings'tab, then the 'comments' tab, and find 'show word verification' and choose 'no'.
Oh..you already did it.
Sounds like a wonderful plan - hope it works out for you (ha ha)!
Thank you for your comment on my blog; it's very nice to meet you.
I've known a few optimists....but you have the corner on it.
I so hope you can continue your little chat with baby with a big optimistic smile as he screams in your ear, pees in your lap, and spills his grape juice on your new carpet.... ((smile)) "Mother of 4"
Love your attitude and sense of humor...
Wanda
A couple of people have asked how I found their blogs - to be honest, since i started this blogging thing I have found loads of interesting blogs; generally through interesting comments they have made on other people's blogs. If people comment on my blog, I do try to go back to their's again and then Blogger shows me the whole list of their blogs.
I'm afraid though, that I can't tell people whose blog I got to their's by. I have no sense of direction, and can't find my way back!
The Broken Man
The baby will sleep through the night ... eventually. Technically, the first few weeks of life the light hurts their sensitive little eyes, so they close them in the day, and therefore sleep. At night when it is dimmer, they will open. Better accept that now, and be pleasantly surprised to wake up one morning and realize you haven't gotten up once in the night.
First let me say, thanks for stopping by my blog and commmenting! Come by anytime.
I am sure my lil' spitfire is one of the reasons for this post. Hopefully I haven't frightened you too badly. If your talk works let me know, maybe I'll ship Sam over for a chat!
Oh, and I am one of those that is put out with the education system and we homeschool.
Congratulations on becoming a daddy!! Being a parent is the greatest joy on earth and I pray the best for you and your wife.
ha, Ha, HA, HAAAA, HHHAAAA, HHAAAAA!!!! Hee, hee. Hoo, hooooo, hoooooooo!!! Roflmbo!!!
Sorry. I have a three year old and a 16-month old. Best of luck with that conversation thing.
Heee, hee.
Cheers,
Sarah
Best wishes with your pregnancy! Thanks so much for stopping by!
If only it were that easy. :-) I hope you do have a sweet baby who is/does all of those things; either way, the "pain" will be worth it when you look into those precious eyes.
Thanks for stopping by Sidetrack'd and leaving a comment!
Sounds like you're getting all in order to meet and greet this new little one--and you're getting the baptism by fire when you read a post like mine today--I certainly was feeling 'off'!
Blessings!
I do hope you have a very well behaved child. Make sure you absolutely know the meaning of tough love, and enforce it even at a young age.
Wow, this is such a great idea. As a rather seasoned mother, I'm a bit skeptical...let me know how that goes.
On the other hand, talks with my three year old when he's misbehaving go something like this.
Me: What are your two choices?
Him: Obey or disobey (with pouty lips)
Me: And what do you want to do?
Him: Obey.
Me: So what are you going to do?
Him: But, I want to...
Me: But you just said you wanted to obey, remember?
Him: Okay, mom. Okay.
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